My roomie just showed me an amazing list from a book called The Snark Handbook called "Lessons from the Movies." They are truly hilarious things that seem to happen all the time in movies, but never in real life...
1. It is always possible to park directly outside any building you are visiting. (Everyone who works at the CBPO knows this is NOT true.)
2. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
3. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.
4. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts. Your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors. (This is actually something that really bothers me during action movies...)
5. When a person is knocked unconscious by a blow to the head they will never suffer a concussion or brain damage.
6. No one involved in a car chase, hijacking, explosion, volcanic eruption, or alien invasion will ever go into shock.
7. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds, unless it's the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.
8. An electric fence powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year old child.
9. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.
10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
11. All telephone numbers in America begin with 555.
12. If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St. Patrick's Day parade- at any time of the year.
13. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread. (They should in real life.)
14. Anyone can land a plane, providing there is someone in the control tower to talk him down.
15. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off-even while scuba diving
16. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
17. If you need to reload your gun, you will always have more ammunition-even if you haven't been carrying any before now.
18. Talking scarecrows, lions and great wizards of emerald cities exist, and there is no paperwork involved when your house lands on a witch.
Thanks for the find rooms!